11/03/2014
Hye everyone, we are back to share things..! Missed us?? Nah, its just has been four days since our last post. :D Hope you guys had fun. Okayh, now lets begin our learning process.... Well, today some weird thing happened in class. OK, not weird but strange. Guess what..!! Sir Anwari asked us to do our own short notes for chapter 8: Interpersonal relationship Stages and Theories. And Sir said that 2 marks will be given for our effort. To be honest with you all, at first all of us were shocked as this is the very first time we were asked to write notes and submit it to the lecturer since joined this university. But within few seconds we were surprised when he mentioned that there will be marks given for our effort. Yahoooo...!! its like a bonus for us.
Now lets have a look at the sub-topics of this chapter :
1)Relationship stages
2)Relationship Theories
3)The Dark side of Interpersonal Relationships
RELATIONSHIP STAGES
There are all together 6 steps in Interpersonal relationship
Normal relationships that we come across in everyday life
 |
| These are the stages in relationship |
CONTACT - This stage starts with perceptual contact including seeing, hearing, touching and even smelling. Perceptual contact followed by interaction contact in which basic or personal information about persons are being exchanged.
INVOLVEMENT - At this stage a sense of mutuality, of being attached, develops. At this stages people tend to collect information about one another in the relationship and begin to reveal or disclose their personal details. In other words, partners tend to test on each other at beginning of this stages.
INTIMACY - There are two sub boundaries in this stages. 1) personal commitment- private commitment by the partners AND 2) social bonding-public commitment(revealed perhaps to family, friends and public).
DETERIORATION - The stage that sees the weakening of bonds and represents the downside of the relationship progression. It begins from interpersonal dissatisfaction and develops into interpersonal deterioration.
REPAIR - The ways of solving relational difficulties. There are six suggestions, which conveniently spell out the word REPAIR
R - Recognize the problem
E - Engage in productive conflict resolution
P - Pose possible solutions
A - Affirm each other
I - Integrate solutions
R - Risk giving
DISSOLUTION - Its happens at two stages 1) interpersonal separation and 2) social or public separation.
RELATIONSHIP THEORIES
ATTRACTION THEORY
Attraction theory holds that people from relationships on the basis of attraction. A person is no doubt drawn or attracted to some people and not to others.
This theory has four principles :- a) Similarity - your mate would act and think very much like you.
b) Proximity - you will find the people who live so close to you as attractive.
c) Reinforcement - you're attracted people who give rewards or reinforcement.
d) Physical Attraction and personality - you will feel more attached to attractive people physically less attractive people.
RELATIONSHIP RULES THEORY
Relationship rules theory helps us clarify several aspects of relationship. First, these rules help identify successful versus destructive relationship behavior. In addition these rules help pinpoint more specifically why relationships break up and how they may be repaired.
FRIENDSHIP RULES
One approach to friendship argues that friendships are maintained by rules. When these rules are followed, the friendship is strong and mutually satisfying.The strategy for maintaining depends on one knowing the rules and having interpersonal skills according to their friendship
ROMANTIC RULES
There are 8 simple rules for romantic relationship, if you have one then you should :
1)Acknowledge each other's identities and recognize that each other's life.
2) Express similarities.
3)Enhance the value and self-esteem.
4)Be honest.
5)Spend time together.
6)Be faithful.
7)Obtain rewards to the effort expended.
8)Experience a "magic" in each other.
FAMILY RULES
Family Rules concern three main interpersonal communication.
a) What can you talk about?
b) How can you talk about something?
c) to whom can you talk?
WORKPLACE RULES
- work very hard.
- Be cooperative in teams.
- Don't reveal company secrets.
- Don't form romantic relationship with co-workers.
- Avoid sexual harassment.
RELATIONSHIP DIALECTICS THEORY
People in a relationship experience dynamic tensions between pairs of opposing motives and desires.
Tension between closeness and openness
The desire to be in a closed relationship and the wish to be in a relationship that is open to different people.
Tension between autonomy and connection
The desire to remain as an independent individual and the wish to connect intimately to another person.
Tension between novelty and predictability
The desire for new experience and the wish to have a same and stable relationship.
SOCIAL PENETRATION THEORY
This describes relationship in terms of the number of topics that people talk about and their degree of “personalness”.
1)Breadth - number of topics you and your partner talk about
2) Depth - degree to which you penetrate the inner personality of the other individual.
EQUITY THEORY
The ideas of social exchange, more towards forming professional relationships.
THE DARK SIDE OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
JEALOUSY
Jealousy is the feeling of danger in a relationship due to some rival. There are 3 components under jealousy.
Cognitive jealousy-imagining the different scenarios in which the partner may be interested in another person.
Emotional jealousy-the feelings the people have when seeing their partners laughing, talking intimately with a rival, or kissing.
Behavioral jealousy-refers to what people actually do in response to the jealous feelings and emotions.
RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE
There are three types in relationship violence:
- Physical abuse : hurting the partner physically.
- Verbal or emotional abuse : humiliating a partner, isolating the partner from significant others.
- Sexual abuse : referring to a partner with abusive sexual terms.
Dealing with violence
If you partner has been violent:
- Realize that you are not alone.
- Plan for your safety.
- Realize that you are not at fault.
If you are the violent partner:
- Know that you can change.
- Own your own behaviors and take responsibility.
Well guys, thats all for today's class.... See you all soon with new updates until then bubye!!
