Okay guys this week is my turn to blog around.
I'm going to be honest here, today's lesson is quite interesting.
I don't know how am I going to simplify 1 whole chapter.
But I'm just gonna make it really simple and quick, with His blessings.
VERBAL MESSAGES~
VERRRRBAAALLLL MESSSSAAGESSSSSS~
WHAT IS VERBAL MESSAGES?
As you communicate, you use two major signal systems:
- VERBAL
- NONVERBAL
It consist of both oral and written words.
Today we learn about PRINCIPLES OF VERBAL MESSAGES
(please continue reading...)
Meanings Are in People
Now what is the meaning of love?
Some of us would just explain "how they fall in love", "why they fall in love"
But none of us can explain "what is love?"
"I'm in love" in this sense that meanings are not in words, but in people.
To uncover meaning, you need to look into people and not merely into words.
As you grow up, you'll change the meanings you created out of past messages. Although the message sent may not have changed, the meanings you created from it yesterday and today may be quite different.
Now when someone perceived your messages wrongly, miscommunication occur, like bypassing
Bypassing is "the miscommunication pattern which occurs when the sender and the receiver miss each other with their meanings" -Haney
Now please don't misunderstood my messages here, I really hope y'all can understand..*sigh
Bypassing: Different Words, Same Meaning
Stinky funny and humorous, both has the same meaning but just the word is different/
Bypassing: Same Words, Different Meaning
Guy 1: I don't really believe in religion. [Meaning: I don't believe in God.]
Guy 2: Neither do I. [Meaning: I don't really believe in organized religions.]
Here both of them assume that they agree, but actually they disagree. At some later date the implications of these differences may well become crucial.
Language Is Denotative and Connotative
Denotative: Meaning you'd find in a dictionary.
Connotative: Emotional meaning that specific speakers-listeners give to a word.
Snarl: Highly negative words ("You're a jerk" "Hey fatboy!")
Purr: Highly positive words ("She's a sweetheart" "You're awesome")
Meaning Depend on Context
The same words or behaviors may have totally different meanings when they occur in different context.
Example: A wink to an attractive person on a bus means something completely different from a wink that says, "I'm kidding".
The Cultural Context
Your culture teaches you that certain ways of using verbal messages are acceptable and certain ways are not. You need to follow such cultural principles in communicating, you are seen as properly functioning member of the culture. When you violate the principles, you risk being seen as deviants or perhaps as insulting.
Principles of cooperation holds that in any communication interaction, both parties will make an effort to help each other understand each other.
- The maxim of quality. Say what you know or assume to be true, and do not say what you know to be false.
- The maxim of relation. Talk about what is relevant to the conversation.
- The maxim of manner. Be clear, avoid ambiguities, be relatively brief, and organize your thoughts into a meaningful pattern.
- The maxim of quantity. Be as informative as necessary to communicate the information.
Principle of face-saving are those that preserve the image of the other person and do nothing to insult the person or make him/her appear in a negative light.
Principle of self-denigration advises you to avoid taking credit for accomplishments and to minimize ypur abilities or talents in conversation.
Message Vary in Politeness
Direct messages are usually less polite that indirect messages ("Lend me $100").
Indirect messages allow you to express desire without insulting or offending anyone.
Message Vary in Assertiveness
Now if you disagree with other people in a group, do you speak your mind?
Do you allow others to take advantage of you because you're reluctant to say what you want?
Assertive people operate with an "win-win" philosophy
HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE?
- Describe the problem
- State how this problem affects you
- Propose solution
- Confirm understanding
Message Can Deceive
Lies vary greatly in type and each lie seems a bit different from every other lie.
There are 4 types of lies:
- Pro-social Deception: To Achieve Some Good
- Self-Enhancement Deception: To make Yourself Look Good
- Selfish Deception: To Protect Yourself
- Anti-social Deception: To Harm Someone
I'm getting tired...(to be continued.....)
20 February 2014
Alright guys, on this day we learn about...
DISCONFIRMATION AND CONFIRMATION
Disconfirmation: A communication pattern in which we ignore someone's presence as well as that person's messages.
Example: Stop yelling. I don't wanna hear you say anything about me. I'll do what i what, wherever I want and whenever I want.
What i understand, disconfirmation is not a rejection. It is not the same.
Confirmation: The opposite of disconfirmation, involves your acknowledging the presence of another person, the persons's importance, and your acceptance of this person.
Example: You have the right to be angry at us. we should have told you earlier.
Racism
"Any language that, through a conscious or unconscious attempt by the user, place a particular racial or ethnic group in an inferior position is racist" -Andrea Rich
Sir Anwari showed us a video about racism between American African people and zombies.
If you are interested, because it is quite funny, I think you should see the video. Yup.
You must see the video! Go!
Click this link ---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xyhVO-SWfM
Sexism
Obviously if its sexism, it is always about gender bias.
It involves customs and practices that discriminate against people because of their gender.
How to avoid?
- Avoid using man generically
- Refrain using his and he as generic
- Stay away from sex-role stereotyping
Heterosexism
It is about attitude and language and behavior used to disparage gay and lesbians.
How to avoid?
- Avoid offensive nonverbal mannerism that parody stereotypes when talking about gay men and lesbians
- Avoid "complimenting" gay men and lesbians by saying that they "don't look it"
- Avoid making the assumption that every gay or lesbian knows what every other gay or lesbians is thinking
- Avoid denying individual diffefernce
Ageism
Refers to prejudice against other age groups.
How to avoid?
- Avoid talking down to or refreshing an older person's memory
- Avoid implying that relationships are no longer important
- Speak at a normal volume and maintain a normal physical distance
- Engage older people in conversation as you would wish to be engaged
USING VERBAL MESSAGES EFFECTIVELY
Language Symbolizes Reality
Intentional Orientation: Tendency to view people, objects, and events according to the way they're talked about; the way they're labeled.
Extensional Orientation: Tendency to look first at the actual people, objects, and events and only afterwards at their labels.
How to avoid?
- Never give labels greater attention than the actual thing
Forgetting that language symbolize only a portion of reality, never the whole.
Language Expresses Both Facts and Inference
Fact-inference confusion: Barriers to clear thinking can be created when inference are treated as facts.
Language is Relatively Static
Static evaluation: Tendency to retain evaluations without change while the reality to which they refer is changing.
Example: "That's the way he is; he's always been that way"
Language Can Obscure Distinction
Indiscrimination: The failure to distinguish between similar but different people, object, or events.
Polarization: Tendency to look at the world in terms of opposite and to describe it in extremes good or bad, positive or negative, healthy or sick, intelligent or stupid.
And there you go, VERBAL MESSAGES
ONE WHOLE CHAPTER
Thank you for reading, I hope you understand a bit from what you have read here :)
Much love for you all
